bug bites and swollen faces

I got up this morning and Lexi's face was swollen, pretty dang swollen. Her eyes were squinty and her mouth was puffy. I'm pretty sure she got bit by something last night. I accidentallly left my load of laundry in one of the washers yesterday so I got it this morning and the rug that I washed, well its all over everything.. so I'm going to attempt to get it off, but we will see what happens.

I made some stiff icing last night so I could start practicing my roses, and it was too thick so it wouldn't come out very well so I have to soften it. I'm excited to start my cakes, I want to make one for Christina lol.

Were coming home for the fourth so I'm pretty excited, I miss my family and I need them close more than ever.

I need

I need to be fixed. There is something wrong with me and I'm not sure what it was but it started out small and continued to grow. I'm upset at myself for what happened. Only my family knows and thats how it will stay so don't ask about it. Just pray for me and Chris. I need to fix things.

I need to learn how to better communicate.

I got my first tattoo :)

Finally!!! Ive waited two years to get my tattoo. My plan was when I turned 18 I would go get my first tattoo, but two weeks before my birthday my dad had a family meeting and said no tattoos or peircings.. I was livid. After that Chris and I made a promise that we would get our first tattoos together. After I turned 19 when my parents went out of town I peirced my lip, and my dad got upset and made me pay for my own car insurence which I didn't think was a big deal. And there was a huge thing that happened with that but Id rather not go into that at the moment. I was getting married anyways so I really didn't care about paying for my own car insurence. Anyways Chris and I got our tattoos right before we left. Chris got a Celtic cross with wings. It took about three hours and he took about three breaks to smoke of course. But he was having issues with his back so he needed to move a little bit. His is healing up real well and he didn't even bleed when it was getting done. Which I'm jealous cuz mine bled... and it hurt since it was open. But its kay it was so worth it. I got a lamb with a crown of thorns sitting in a rose.
So it looks bad ass and I completely love it. But on our way home to cali, it started peeling. And not peeling how its suppose too... it was peeling off in big chungs and most of the color.. so now its super faded and needs to be touched up really bad. And I'm really upset about it cuz its my fault because I moisterized it way too much. I just didn't want it to dry up and crack.. And since my skin is alreay dry I thought that the tattoo would be worse than my skin.. but in the end i screwed it up and I'm upset.. Here's a picture, its not the best so Ill take another one in better lighting later.

We ended up bringing lexi, my moms dog, home with us to cali. Shes a border collie and super smart. She did really well in the car but for the first stops she would eat drink of pee, she would poop sometimes but I have no idea why she needed to poop when she wasnt eating anything. But finally I got her to drink some water and go pee so that was good. We got home and the first night she chewed up and extension cord, a nintendo controller to the oldschool nintendo, chewed up some paper and i can't remember what else she chewed up the first night. The second night she didn't chew anything which was really really good! and then Chris and I fell asleep on the couch and she chewed up chris' sandles.. She got a Butt woopin that time but then she also started chewing up her frisby which she can chew up I don't care. So then we went to Ikea :D :D :D :D I love that store, and we got us a TV stand for our TV that comes in tomorrow, its going to be HUGEEEEE im so excited lol. We get home... and lexi has chewed through my new sandles that Becky JUST gave me and I didn't even get a chance to wear them at all and then my red flip flops that Ive had for almost a year now and had them for super summer last year so now I dont have flip flops that I actually like.. and she chewed through the cord to our brand new fan that we got a couple days ago and a couple of socks. She didn't even touch her bone. Which is retarted, she use to eat bones all the time but since she got here she wont touch it. So last night she didn't chew anything which is good. So hopefully this chewing will continue to stop, its getting quite expensive.

So close But so far

Today wasn't too bad. I had a short circuit tho, really short. But I studied for my College success course and cleaned a little bit so my apartment doesn't look horrible.
Its more organized and less messy. So it helped my stress a little bit. Chris gets home in a little more than 24 hours and I am STOKED. I miss him so much, and I don't think anyone quite understands.
Tomorrow I'm getting a mani and pedi with Christina. I must say that I love her, she is such an amazing person and am so glad that she is my friend. She has helped me so much and its so nice that she is here and she knows what I'm going through and can help as much as she can and vice versa. It's nice just to know that what I'm going through is what is "suppose" to happen, or rather projected to happen when a husband goes on deployment. I started reading books at the beginning but I just didn't want to think about it so I stopped. I can't wait for my love to be home and in my arms once again. I can't wait to be held by him.

I still have baby fever.

Now or later

I love futurama. I am almost done with my other projects :) which is awesome. Once again for the hundreth time Chris has been delayed *sigh*. I should really expect it by now, for the amount of times that they have changed their mind about all the other things that they control. dumb dumb dumb dumb DUMB. I put my lip ring in yesterday for a couple hours, and it got sore so I took it out. I think i might be allergic to it, so I need to find one I'm not allergic to.
Lately, I've been wanting to have a baby... which is awkward cuz my plan is to not have a kid till I was out of school and Chris out of the marine corps but I guess its me being lonely that wants a baby. Someone for me to care for and not be by myself. Its just so weird to me that after all the birth control that Ive had to go through, example: Ella and Skyla, Kira, Kennedy, screaming babies at the mall, screaming babies at ceremonies, screaming babies everywhere! And I'm also scared that once I get older that I wont want a baby, I wont have the energy to have a baby, and I don't want that to happen..
I need to get a job out here, but I don't know where exactly to work. There's walgreens, walmart, homedepot, or maybe something on base. Idk. meh..
Tomorrow I seriously need to do laundry, I focused mainly on my design stuff, so now that I have most of it out of the way I can do a lot of laundry and study.

I miss my Grandpa.

Soon, very soon he will be back in my arms

Today I finally finished my main project that is due when I get back for my Design class. I didn't expect it to take that long, but oh well, now I have 3 or 4 more projects to do. I just need to figure out what I am going to do.



Christina and I went to base and put our signs up for our boys. Super excited I only have a couple days left till I get my baby back. I went to the commicary today and bought a ton of groceries. So now I have food, and I can cook and eat, instead of going out and that money adding up. I'm so super excited for Christopher coming home. I have so much laundry to do. I really dont feel like doing it. I can survive till I get back to texas, I just have to do laundry when I'm there lol. I made the quick chicken and dumplings that Pops showed Christina and I, but I dont think I made it the same. I don't mind tho, cuz i like it. It didn't taste bad lol. I have rarely made anything that didn't taste good. Which I must say I am proud of.

Husband and Wife, not him or I

I'm bothered by the small things. It is like I'm OCD I guess. More than one person today has asked me, When is Chris going to be in Texas? both of my friends that asked me that today one of them barely talks to me, and then the other one asked and then when I proceeded to explain how I feel, did not help at all.
Chris isn't the only one coming home, I moved out here. Granted I know he has been gone for 7 months I know this, I have been on a emotional roller coaster since he left. I know because I am his wife. It is not only Chris or me anymore, we are one entity now, One does not come with out the other. Ive been through so much with Chris being gone, and no one seems to understand what it is exactly that I have to go through, no matter how I try to explain it. It can't be understood till one has gone through it. Its more painful than anything that any normal person has to go through. So when someone asks me when is chris coming home, when I have already moved out here and do not live in Tx anymore. That hurts, I'm not chopped liver. I know that you dont miss me as much as you miss chris but I'm bringing him home. We are coming home not chris by himself.
The way you say something changes the meaning whether it was meant that way or not.